New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

I've been reading posts dealing with detaching. I think that's what I've actually been doing for the past 2-3 weeks. I still stick to my calling schedule with my boys. But I don't stress as much anymore about whether my W will call or what she is doing.

If she calls, Great! If she doesn't, that's OK too. I am trying to get to that place where the end of the story, good or bad, will still find me doing good. My wife called before the christmas holidays and talked about refiling after the holidays. Maybe a year ago, just the words "filing for D' would send shivers in my spine and haunt me for days and days on end. I'm not like that anymore. I hope she doesn't refile. But if she does, I think I'll still be OK. The thought doesn't scare me as it used to.

I still love and miss my W with all my heart. But truly, there is not much I can do other than maintaining what I've already been working on, being a good father, being loving and understanding to my W even if she spews venom over the phone. The rest,I think, is not up to me anymore. Is that what detaching is all about? The thought that I'm OK regardless of the outcome.

I noticed that I don't post as much anymore either. Maybe I should. But there seems to be no really sense of urgency to post or vent on a daily basis. Maybe I'm too detached? In any case, My W hasn't talked to me, called , or given any sign of life since I gave the boys back to her on 2 JAN. Maybe she's also thinking, gathering all the info from the boys, considering her options. All speculation on my part, of course.

But I'm OK today. I hope for the best. Praying for a softening of my W's heart. In any case, I am in a good place for now. No more mega crying moments asking why. I do get crying spells now and then, but not as intense as they used to be a year ago.

JR09