H4U, I'm going to disagree with you. It is precisely because a parent starts thinking solely of themself that M's get into these predicaments. Irish does not need to contribute to this situation herself -- her H is being foolish enough for the both of them already. I understand your point against sacrificing for the kids at the expense of one's self -- but the point so many people don't understand is that such sacrifice is understandable and reasonable (laudable even) just so long as the person making that sacrifice is fully conscious of that cost and is willing to make it. And it's not for us to gainsay it if they do.
I think there just needs to be a balance between the needs of the individual and the needs of their family/M/children/etc. There are plenty of siren calls in our modern society to chuck the kids and family as it is.
Irish, I applaud your seeking out an IC. I think that person(s) will help you to sort things out. They need to take into account the things you value and hold dear, and to thus help you to see a path in life that best accommodates all of them. You set the objectives and they are supposed to help you chart a course.
