My Deep, comfy couch

[Hope4us]

Welcome Deep (to paraphrase what's said to all people on Newcomers and Infidelity) to the place all DB'ers want to be.

I've followed your sitch in Newcomers and I must say, you're a better man than I am. My W's OM moved ~250 miles away before I discovered the A, but after discovery, she went to see him or he came to our town multiple times and there is a possibility that he may return to W's work site in the future. I've already told W if that happens, she has exactly 5 minutes to decide to take a transfer back to our hometown and I'll get one when one's available, or she can find somewhere else to live as I WILL NOT live with her working with OM again. Even if our marriage was in the best possible shape, I would never be able to handle them working in the same location. Harley even says that he's had couples reconcile and recover to a happy marriage and then YEARS later, the pull is still there and the wayward makes contact again and starts up with the OP again. So there's no frickin way I could live with W working with OM. It might work for a while, but what happens the first time W and I hit a rocky point? Who does she run to? I think we know the answer to that one. So with so many concerns on my part, and I know I would smother her and our marriage would be over anyway if OM was back working there, it's either me or her job. So there it is.

You're correct, Piecing doesn't get as much traffic as Newcomers, but ya know what? That's ok. Most questions, concerns, etc are not as urgent, so when people get to them, it's many times a few days later. And that's ok. It's just a whole different dynamic here than on NC or the Infidelity board.

I've found, as we get further along in our recovery, I spend less and less time here. And I rarely visit those other boards anymore because I find it sets me back, puts me out of my PMA frame of mind. Don't get me wrong, there are times I'll take a look and even post, but not too often.

Again, welcome.