Positive developments? #2

[jon2911]

Thanks River! I needed that.

Michelle, it's "There Goes My Life" by Kenny Chesney.

Really great DB meetup on Sunday night, very encouraging.

First couple days on the job have been good, this already seems like a great fit for me. A lot of the job is 90 minute software training sessions with new customers, right up my alley. I'm getting frustrated at the lack of organization, it seems like I'm on my own for training and they haven't even set up my computer yet. Time to show some initiative today, I wanted a start-up feel without secretaries or managers but it can be a challenge as well.

Talked with W on Monday night, she started to sound annoyed and I realized I was bombarding her with stuff about my first day. I'm bad about that when I'm excited about something. I ended the convo, but called her back 30 minutes later and apologized. She explained "my head's been really bad for several days and I'm just frustrated". The talk was really nice from there, and I took a risk and told her about the video above and e-mailed her the link, along with some other things she asked for. It's hard to describe, but it was like talking with my old W again.

Last night, she sounded different immediately. She asked why I sent her that video and was really cold about it. "I'm glad I don't have a 5-year-old daughter", she said. Whether because of meds or headache, she doesn't remember anything from last night. I told her she asked me to send those links. This must be scary for her, not remembering anything and wondering if she revealed too much. Almost like an alcohol blackout. Still, we talked for almost an hour, and I found out she's pretty much been in bed since Friday. She also told me more about what her last month has been like. Crazy. I'll post more later.

My uncle came in town last night for dinner, and told me "don't walk, run away from her". He said she sounds mentally unstable, and I don't want to deal with that the rest of my life. I can do better, blah blah blah. Now I find out that my Mom sent an e-mail blast to the extended family after W decided to file in December. Great. No wonder they were weird at my sister's wedding. He asked what my Dad's advising, and I was honest that my Dad wants me to drive W to the courthouse in Houston and make sure she files. "Last time she got a headache and didn't finalize, so this time make sure she does", said my Dad. "It sounds like everyone's saying the same thing" said my uncle.

I appreciate his thoughts, and that he had the balls to say it. A lot of it was actually good DB advice, don't always worry about her reaction, live your life, don't waste time on someone who doesn't appreciate you, etc.

Though the talk with W was good last night, it got me thinking that uncle may be right. W has been warming up only when her headaches are really bad. After that, she snaps right back to Miss Independent. Do I really want to deal with this crap the rest of my life? At the end of the day, I know I'm growing through this. And I still believe in W. I just wish she'd freaking wake up already.