I had a big bust up with W at 2 in the morning earlier this week but I think cleared the air a bit.
W had given me a hint that something was up, by asking me if I could set up her home email so she could view it from work, I told her I think I could do it, but I could only set it up from home when I was logged on as an administrator, and that being the case she may as well wait until she got home to view whatever important email it was she was after. The reality is I can view both our home emails over the web so I dipped in and saw there were a couple of emails from W and her secret friend, most compelling was W reply to a hello by saying better to chat on IM and him saying his W/partner always looking over his shoulder.
As always these things builds up inside me until I explode, in this case it was the early hours of the morning when I tried to touch W (as I knew it would annoy her)and when she rebuffed me I let go with a foul mouthed rant (very unlike me)where I basically told her that she can (censored) off with her dopy friend as I’ve had enough of the situation, the two of them can continue doing what they are doing but she wasn’t to bother me unless it involved D8.( I’ve down played the argument here as I really did let rip with some choice words). W insists there’s nothing going on and they just talk.
The following day W phoned me at work and I basically told her again that I wasn’t interested and she should (censored )off and leave me alone, but she surprised me and said that we shouldn’t give up and we should keep trying, and that we should be looking after each other etc, etc. When I told her if she is on IM with any secret friends I’m not interested, she told me they just talk about problems, like this guy’s medical history, his problems at home, also he just lost his mother. I interrupted W here and told her that I don’t give a (censored) about his problems as it wasn’t helping ours. Actually I started to feel a little bit bad here cos I realise I’ve been swearing too much. I told W we have no intimacy and I’m not having another year like that, but she kept saying to me not to give up and she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, that we need spend time together to overcome things. I told W we already do this, and when we do she falls asleep, and when she sleeps I drink. I said the drink is killing me, so now I’m gonna kick it to the kerb and just do my gym and cycling and stay healthy. W kept insisting its me she wants to be with and spending time together is the key.
Anyway after having an think about this I had another call with W and told her, for the rest of this week we are in bed at 8pm, the idea is just to rest and relax, (I’ll leave this weeks gym until the weekend). At the weekend the two of us(not her dopy friend) are gonna have a chat and see if we can work out what is going on in her head cos I’m not sure she knows, also I'm gonna find our what I'm suppose to keep trying for.
Last night we were both in bed at 8pm and had a very good sleep as neither of us slept the night before.
