Well, he came to counseling. It was really good he did. We roll played telling dd this week. We decided he would have to do the talking because I am a mess. The counselor asked if he had a girlfriend and he said no. But then he said something about that is part of the situation now. So in other words, "I'm not going to admit to having a gf so it can't be held against me".
She again stated that we need to talk and we need to constantly choose happy and peaceful over being right. She talked about egos again and doing the right thing for our DD. She is very spiritual and believes in positive and negative energy.
On the way home, I sent him a text asking if he wanted to talk. Because I thought we should while it was still fresh and we could finalize plans for telling DD. He said not right now, he was taking it all in. He said he didn't want to argue before it. I replied I didn't want to argue either and I don't want to hate each other anymore. He replied he didn't either. Hopefully that means we can put some of this anger and hatred aside which is physically and mentally draining.
We told DD last night. That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I know she understood, but she almost seemed like she didn't know what to say or do, kind of like when she gets embarrassed about something. My heart is breaking for her.
Next step, I have an appt with a lawyer next week. This lawyer was recommended by a judge, so I'm hoping that means he knows what he's doing. The secretary said I didn't need to bring anything but my questions. Any advice on what I should be asking, things you wish you had done or didn't do? I am just going for the consultation, I have no plans to retain at this point. Not quite sure where either of us are going to get the money for that, but I guess you find it, right?
