I think the omission of the ILY is long overdue anyway.

I get what you want GW, but wanting things for "us" right now will only add to your pain and confusion. You can't want anything for her or her part in "us".

Detach from that. Work on you. Gather info and proof. Give serious thought to the setting up of the boundaries and consequences you WILL enforce. Then just do what you have to do. You're slipping in your control of the one thing you can indeed control, your thoughts and frame of mind. Don't obssess over what she is doing and how right / wrong / explainable it might be. You already know what the situation is. Quit worrying over reacting to her.

Me 42
W 39
Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992
First Bomb: Sep 2007
Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007
Kids: D10, S5
Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak.
3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.