Slept like a log last night. Was wonderful being back in my own bed, snuggled by my own critters.
Woke up fairly early to find H. gone. H. was in & out all day, slamming doors, banging around, hiding in office. I stayed in my room until I had to leave for IC.
Made plans w/friends for the evening. Got dressed cute, did hair & make-up before leaving [180 for me, don't bother unless going to work]. H. didn't see any of it.
Left at 4 PM, returned around midnight slightly tipsy. H. tried to instigate fight, which I diffused. H. starts R talk. Listen, validate, talk about my experience w/M [180 for me].
H. mentions 5 weeks of darkness as me avoiding him/R. Tell H. it was to get MYSELF together, so as to not be reactive, nasty, vindictive, etc. H. says 'you have panic attack when you have to see me, move back, etc'.
Didn't know how to respond to that, b/c, yes, I kinda think that the reason I had the panic attack was b/c of the stress of moving back.
H. seemed to visibly soften. Then he said 'Do you mind if I go to bed?'
H. sleeping on couch, me sleeping up here. Just don't even know what to think.
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
