WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

The other thing that happened is that she tried desperately to bait me into a R talk. It kind of happened but I was trying to explain where we are now and the possibility going forward and she wanted to focus on the past.

She was angry because we got in an argument over what she told S18 and said 'we can't live like this'. I had tried to convince her to stick around for a few months on Sunday to (a) spare the kids the changes before school was out; (b) allow us to get in better financial shape to separate - lots of bills now; (c) allow me to get started in my new job before we split. I had told her I could remove the source of our prior arguments because I have let go of her and don't care what she does and won't ask anymore.

She says: "You are going crazy - nobody can just flip a switch and not care anymore. you have a crazy look on your face too." I then explain again that I won't ask her any questions about what she does and with whom - her personal life is her business and mine is mine. Then she tries to say that she isn't doing anything. I said that the things she did upset me greatly and that most husbands would have been upset, but I accept that she has been living in her half of an open marriage and now I acknowledge it.

She kept trying to talk about the past - why she was unhappy, how she got married too young, how I was a bad husband, blah blah. I kept trying to bring her back to NOW, because I am trying to convince her that I have really let go so that there is no more reasons to argue about. I told her talking about the past is a waste of time right now and that I just want to focus on what is hapening now, what was bothering me and why letting that go will make our situation at home a lot better for the kids.

She won't hear it. She doesn't WANT things to get better around here because she would lose her reasons to run. It needs to happen but I am trying to buy a few months.