I'm asking because it is an area I struggle with. Every time I need to do it, I have a lot of fear. I am trying to figure that out with my IC's help.
I can and do set them... and DBing has actually made me stronger in this regard. But, I want to know what the fear and anxiety is about before I do it...
Just curious... sometimes somebody else's insights give us some of our own...
this right here makes sense that your H is taking long.
remember what they say about a M being in trouble, and that it takes so many months for each year? Well, I'm thinking, because you chased for so long, a whole year, there are a lot of us I think that found DB way sooner than a year. I found it in a month. So I had a month of chasing, maybe not even that long.
So, this makes a whole lot more sense to me.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'm actually doing my master cleanser diet right now, did it 10 years ago and really made a difference, only because I started fasting to pray for someone and then I decided to just continue!
So, what you will notice can be... headaches, white coated tongue, bad breath, bad body odor, more sweating, stomach issues (even so far as vomiting, but not common), blemishes, cold/flu like symptoms.. etc.
It's because are bodies are so full of toxins that have been built up for many years, so when the body rids of them, it's either going to go out the you know what, or out your mouth, or thru your skin. it's a good idea to even take a detox bath.
get really hot water and use 1 cup of epson salt and you can use ginger too. actually, look it up online, I could be off on the amts. you want to sweat as much as possible, and shower everyday.
good luck to you with it! the master cleanser is actually no food for 10 days, but your not hungry at all drinking the "lemonaide" concoction, and it tastes good. but your suppose to do an internal saltwater bath to flush your system out, and that tastes GROSS!!!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'm asking because it is an area I struggle with. Every time I need to do it, I have a lot of fear. I am trying to figure that out with my IC's help.
I can and do set them... and DBing has actually made me stronger in this regard. But, I want to know what the fear and anxiety is about before I do it...
Just curious... sometimes somebody else's insights give us some of our own...
You fear the outcome might not be what you want (expectations.) Rejection, loss, shame, guilt, and worry all these negative emotions cloud your thinking and cause inaction. RW, do you remember how you fought setting boundaries and confronting? What was the result? Look at what just happened to DragonBreath. The fear is the unknown. FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real. The fear also causes us not get be truly intimate, we hold back because we fear. Trusting another person is hard when you don't trust yourself enough to be brave. This is why confidence is so attractive and sexy.
Quote:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson
Change your thoughts you change your emotion. Change your emotions you change your actions.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
wow... I am absorbing that right now. I have read that quote before and had forgotten it. I've saved it and printed it off and I am going to focus on this for the next while.
So, so true. Thank you.
Mind... sorry to hijack but I hope this is helpful for you too!
ST - We do everything (M or R-wise) at a snail's pace here!
Thanks for the chat yesterday. My S12 still thinks I'm a freak, laughing hysterically at my screen, sitting on my bed, all alone, and supposedly not talking w/anyone! You gave me a much needed belly laugh, and some interesting courage! "Say Cheese!"
You are SO spot on re: detox effects. Good Lord, I'll start checking off your list, as they're starting to come true! Can't wait for the body sweats and stink! LoL I'm passed the Dragonbreath!
I can't imagine not eating for 10 days! I don't care how good the lemonade is! What day number are you on? I've fasted and prayed before, but not like that. Way to go!!!
OK, gotta catch up, and then get to work. Be good.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I was having an emotional night because I actually set a boundary for the first time! If you look a few pages back, you'll see my journal update (Monday night). Funny, if you met me in person, you'd think, Wow, what a strong, confident, sassy young (relative!) lady, but it took me a year to come up with the courage and confidence to deliver one. I'm very proud, and it was well received.
Thanks for checking back in!!!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
