I do not think you need to ask her or confront her about anything before the trip. You do not sound "sure" about anything to me, so I think she could lie herself right out of it and then she would go deeper undercover with the A. It would be harder to prove.
If you can track some of Puppy's threads or Robx, they will give you insight in how you can go about exposing, etc.
About calling your W while she is gone.......if you don't hear from her first, then I think a short call at bedtime...tome make sure she's okay, would be fine. No long conversations and for goodness sake stay away from R talk. If she contacts you first, then that should be enough. Once a day...no more.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
