So now what do I do. Not sure. Do I monitor, do I confront, do I wait till post funeral to confront. Do I keep my mouth shut and see what the phone will show after her 5 day trip. Do I make the phone disappear. Do I call that phone number a time or two while she is on her trip (now that I have the phone number). Do I send OM an e-mail letting him know how ballsy he is and remind him how much he has to lose. Do I contact OMs wife. Do I just let it going, knowing if she is going to contact him, I can't stop it, and just try DBing more and hope I become the better option. Do I ignore for now...I guess this isn't bothering me but a little because I was so sure it was going on, this only confirms it. I guess I'm almost surprised at how little it has gone on. If I can get to the phone 1 more time, and get the serial # on it, I can set up an account on line and monitor it...unless she already has set up an on-line account. Hard to say but I doubt it because for quite a while I was able to and was monitoring her internet activity and there was nothing in terms of watching an account. That and there are a TON of minutes left on it. 700+ minutes.
I would not do anything before she leaves b/c it doesn't sound as if you have the proper time.
I don't think you should contact OM at all! Think it over carefully before you contact OM's W. If you have read an email or TM, and if you can give dates ....then some of the DB members believe in contacting OM's W....but you have to be careful how you do it. Some would say do it even if you didn't have proof. I'm not the expert on that. Trent could help you.
If you know the A is still going on, then I believe she needs to be confronted about it. If she's leaving out and short on time then I doubt that would be the best time to do it. IDK, it may give her something to think about while she's gone, but I don't think you know exactly what to say yet....do you? Are you willing to share her with OM? If not, then you could tell her you know the A has continued and you are not willing to share her and that it is most disrespectful to you as her H to have an A. When she comes home, she needs to be ready to go to work on the M or you can pack her things and put in the garage. (Just an example)
Once you have confirmed that an A is still going on, I don't believe that monitoring the emails, cell calls, etc. is very healthy DBing. There are so many opinions that I suppose it sort of depends on the individual. I think some get so obsessed with monitoring that they forget to DB.
My question would be what would be the point of monitoring after you know the A is going on? Once you get your information to bust the A, why torture yourself? Whatever you do, just make sure you have thought it out for three or more days.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm going in circles.
Last Friday.....bad mood....OM....yep, adds up. Remember though, bad equals good and good equals bad.
Talk it through with some of the men here and see what they say.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
