MHL, I have not seen the pic...I looked but did not see it. FB??
I read your new post as well and I am going to be very honest with you. I agree with everything you said and beleive it is the right approach. However, I am not as enthusiast about it as others because I know this is going to be the most difficult thing you have ever done. Once you say those things you are going to need to stick by them; if you do not your W will lose respect for you and you may also lose respect for yourself. I could be full of it here!!
I said the same things to my W and have been taking this approach for 4 months...it has been pure agony (and I have backed down a few times because I have needed the family time so bad). I say this not to get you down but to prepare you. Both of us have been struggling with how to deal with our W's. Should we try to be there friends or just friendly? Either way we are getting slapped in the face becuase of their behaviors. My W's adultry is in the open to me and her family. She obviously does not think she is doing anything wrong and has justifed in acting this way because we are seperated and as of right now, the M is dead. None the less, how do I treat my W knowing all of this. I am either friendly or an ass. I have talked to divorced people who have gone through exactly what I am going through and the spouses hate one another. This in turn has hurt their kids. My W may be hurting the kids but I refuse to add to their pain. Thus, I will be friendly as I think you should be.
I guess my point to all of this is to take a step back, try to remove the emotion and think objectively. I think this aproach is the right thing to do but make sure it is right for you. We have the burden of making the best out of a terrible sitch. Like you said, I do not want to walk away from this a bitter person and I know you do not want to either. Ok, I will shup up now.
