Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Rocked - thanks for the 2nd opinon on MC. I concur with your thoughts across the board. A risk I shouldn't take. We are not at total transparency, I should have insisted on it right off the bat, didn't, wasn't wise enough, now it is a fall-back option in my hip pocket.

Today tough but nothing like yesterday. Detaching not going well, however, not pursuing is going ok. I have not texted/e-mailed/called. I had to go to her building to talk to someone else and I walked right past her office without a hesitation but did look out of corner of eye and she saw me. We had a meeting we had to attend together, I was friendly, cordial, but not clingy.

W calls me a little bit ago (this is 3 days in a row she has called me at work, not common). I recognize the caller id, let it ring twice, answer official like I had no idea who was calling. That makes her say "hey its me." She asked what's the password to web site X: I answered with "the common one"...she knows what that means. Frustrated, she asks well then what's the user id and I answer "the standard one"...now she's pissed (cause she probably feels stupid) and says well I didn't try that. I say nothing but smirk to myself.

I use this as my opportunity to speak about the kids. I calmly say, "Lets talk about the kids tonight. I assume that I need to leave work in time to handle swim lessons tonight, correct." She sighs and says yes she has to get everything togehter for her trip, she says I hopefully won't be too late, then she stops again and says well, we'll see. She then told me what time she was leaving tomorrow and I nicely asked good flights or multiple legs or rough return flights or what. She told me she didn't know what time the return flight was and could look it up, I said "no, no, its not important you can get me that information some other time."

She was then looking up the item on the web site and chit chatting about the different types and I cut her off, said well we should go, let you figure out which one you want and I can get back to work. "Oh, ok" that was her reponse. I then said "I'll talk to you when you get home, bye"...i stopped the phone call. Believe it or not, that isn't that common.

Tonight is another opportunity and challenge. She will be packing for a trip. I will be tempted to help out. I must resist unless she specifically asks for help on something. As I read on someone elses thread today, maybe I can act like the WAS.

I'm also beginning to think that her leaving could be good. I need to turn 5 days of just me and the girls into positive detachment. The first thing on my list is to re-read most of DB...I need to get that fresh in my brain again. And the second thing on my list is more sleep! And the third thing is plan a weekend the girls will love, make it special. Skiing one afternoon, Chuck E Cheese one evening, maybe swimming pool one day. We will not sit around the house this weekend, that is what W would expect. I can make it a 180 that will thrill the girls and shock the W. Win-Win opportunity! I just got to pray that I don't get called into work this weekend, the threat of that does loom.