Looking for some more help.

[TrentC]

Called my wife today...I was a little upset. I knew I should not have done it and tried to fight the urge but I caved.

This seems to be a recurring theme with many people on here. If you know it's wrong and you do it anyway, it gets pretty hard to have sympathy when things blow up in your face.

I was just talking to her and immediately she asked me what was wrong. I said nothing and she kept pushing...I told her I would give her a call later it was nothing. She said no...tell me now. So I told her about the texts I was reading last night. I said I didn't see how we could get from being like that to having nothing in the course of less than a month. She said she explained it before.

And you'll keep getting these kinds of answers as long as you give in to temptation. She's not in a place where she is considering staying with you.

I am having so much trouble with this. I feel like if I keep being friendly with my wife it may turn things around, and I try not to bring up R talk. I'm not really pursuing per se...I don't tell her I want her to come home anymore or that I want her back.

YES YOU ARE. You may not use those exact words, but what do you think you're telling her when you say you don't understand how things fell apart so fast?

I'm just trying to get some understanding from her on what is going on.

You can't. If for no other reason then she's not sure what is going on yet, either.

What do I need to do?

Stop pursuing! You said, right at the top of your post, that you knew you shouldn't call her. But you did, and it made matters worse for you. So don't do it any more. Use this is a reminder the next time you feel like calling her.

I fear I'm not going to be able to leave her alone till I have no choice because she won't want to talk to me anymore.

You are probably right.