Another thing, push for the 50/50 joint custody, don't let her get out of that, you don't care if she wants less child custody - why would you help her and enable her there.
She has kids, the responsibility of having kids is making time for them. You don't have to be nice and do the "co-parenty" thing, you know better than that.
This is one of the few areas in which I would disagree with Rob and Puppy. SP has questioned the quality of STBX's parenting. While he could force the issue on the quantity of time she is responsible for them, he will have very little to say about the quality of that time, barring physical abuse or outright neglect. While I think having both parents fully engaged in the lives of children is important, I don't see that with STBXMrsSP.
Imagine, if you will, how the resentment will be manifested when the kids get in the way of her "lifestyle." Maybe she'll grow up and become a good parent...or maybe she'll treat them with the same kindness that she has treated SP. That is not a gamble I would make with my children.
Just my $0.02 (minus taxes and adjusted for inflation)
Nut
Ditto.
More than anything, though, I have an observer's horror of custody and/or issues concerning Themselves in general becoming the proxy battleground for leftover resentments from the totality of the relationship.
If that's the only field you'll engage her on, SP, guess where she's likely to direct her fire?
I rarely say this, but thank heaven for lawyers, and may they work quickly.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
