Thank you everyone so much for all the support and all the good kind words and advice. I think finding out my XH remarried was very shocking and set me back quite a bit. The fact that he dove straight into another serious relationship and ended up married to the woman is mind boggling. But shows just how little our marriage meant to him. A hard pill to swallow. I loved him and feel like I was wholly commited to him and our marriage and family. I still don't fully understand why he was so unhappy with us. Every thing he ended up saying led to him leaving was not in my opinion why a husband leaves his wife. I never cheated or lied. I have no addictions... We had in-law problems, we fought sometimes - but every relationship has it's up and downs. He went from one day I love you to the next day leaving. Makes my head spin when I try to analyze why things went down the way they did.
At the same time because he left the first time I never felt security in the marriage even when he came back. I would ask him would you ever do that again - hoping he would like any normal person - say no (knowing how much I had suffered during the seperation). Instead he said to me "if I am unhappy I will leave again..." How can you feel secure in a marriage like that? I felt like I had to constantly be on my best behavior otherwise he would have another reason to leave. It was so crazy. Am not sure why people get married to people they supposedly love and then do this kind of thing to them. The worse part is I think now he's remarried and he probably treats the other woman v differently. But do people ever really change? He had major mood swings, who call me bad names, he would tell me on occassion to get out of the house... Is he a different man with her? And why? What was it about me that allowed him to be so cruel? Even upto now not feeling any remorse but rather justifying his behavior as his only recourse. Just thinking... Am trying to be more positive - am trying to be not so woe is me. Takes time - I'll get there. Just so many unanswered questions that still plague and bother me.
