Coming up on One-Year of DB'ing...

[Coach]

Yup.. it does.

I'm asking because it is an area I struggle with. Every time I need to do it, I have a lot of fear. I am trying to figure that out with my IC's help.

I can and do set them... and DBing has actually made me stronger in this regard. But, I want to know what the fear and anxiety is about before I do it...

Just curious... sometimes somebody else's insights give us some of our own...

You fear the outcome might not be what you want (expectations.) Rejection, loss, shame, guilt, and worry all these negative emotions cloud your thinking and cause inaction. RW, do you remember how you fought setting boundaries and confronting? What was the result? Look at what just happened to DragonBreath. The fear is the unknown. FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real.
The fear also causes us not get be truly intimate, we hold back because we fear. Trusting another person is hard when you don't trust yourself enough to be brave. This is why confidence is so attractive and sexy.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marianne Williamson

Change your thoughts you change your emotion. Change your emotions you change your actions.

Cheers