I really don't know what to do guys when he gets back. It's going to be so awkward tomorrow when I pick him up. I know I need to stay positive for me and not let him get to me - any extra suggestions are welcome.
It seems to me that is the best reason to stay positive: because he expects to get a tongue-lashing when you pick him up.
Treat him like you're picking up a co-worker or a family friend. Be polite, ask some questions about his trip, and don't say a word about him not calling. See what happens.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
don't say a word about him not calling. See what happens.
Luv, GOOD LUCK W/THAT, but... I completely agree w/Trent. For now...
Well, what would berating him for not calling do? She already texted him about it.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Trent, I'm agreeing w/you. I made the GOOD LUCK in caps because it could take an enormous amount of inner strength! Guess I didn't communicate it right...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Ok guys - I'll keep lipped about calling but let me tell you it's not gonna be easy and he sure will wonder why I didn't bring it up.
That's the point!
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I decided last night when I felt so sad that I wasn't gonna do this to myself anymore. I'm not going to dwell in sadness. I'm going to be more positive and make a change for me no matter what the hell happens.
had to repost!!! I LOVE THIS!!!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
lol, just finished reading the last page... and YES YOU SHOULD!
look...who knows what he was doing, and it doesn't matter. who knows if there is an OW, and if there is, do you know how many people have this happen to them??? and if your desire is to restore the M, it doesn't matter what he's doing now, it only matters what actions YOUR taking now.
DO NOT whatsoever bring up the phone issue. you said it once, do NOT say it again. even if he brings it up, I would not engage in the conversation, just listen. that would be a huge 180 for you I believe, and you need lots of 180s.
listen, the things he is doing is not who he is. He was a good dad before that called his kids every night, and or you...well, you can't expect this behavior. He is NOT himself right now. you may get even worse behavior, and you've got to get a grip before it happens. your going to have good moments followed by bad moments. this is very typical too. things start getting better, but then they back off because they aren't sure it's real or what your doing and so they step back.
is there a way that maybe one of his friends could pick him up? if you think you won't be able to handle it? or maybe have someone with you and just drop him off at the house and you go off to do something else with a friend?
remember what I said the other day, focus on being happy and having fun! and let him see it! don't let anything he says or anything he does change your mood. you stay in the same mood.
blindsided is the best example for this. and talk about a bad sitch, you don't want to know hers. but whenever her H would act immature and be rude, she continued to stay upbeat, and guess what would happen? he stopped being stupid! and followed her lead!
so, you can do this, focus focus, and if you can't focus, then distract yourself with things that will help you.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
