Was it normal for you to cancel a lunch date? If so, then W may see that as a "he'll never change", so if it turns out you can't make it, then I'd say you should do something else to account for that. Not pursue, not grovel, just profess regret you couldn't do lunch, and instead you'd like to _______.
Originally Posted By: Tridoc
I told her that I trust her 100% and I layed my phone on the counter to reveal my transparency so she can do the same with me.
This is the part that I don't get, you haven't done anything but you showing her that you can be transparent?! Have her do the same, tell her you want to see her phone, unlock it and read her text messages and go through her contacts. You can't trust her, lets be honest, she pursue some type of EA/PA, the onus of responsibility is on her to be transparent. She got scared that you were beginning to move on and she starts asking 20 questions about what you're doing and dragging you into the hall to "discuss it" but she tells you that she's still pretty sure that its over but you confirm that you will love her regardless, ummmm.... NO! You stop telling her that altogether, you let her pursue you, she's definitely going to keep her distance from you if you pursue her and tell her you love her.
Look at the logic from her point of view, she possibly/maybe/probably/maybe not had a PA/EA with another man.
You pursue her and tell you'll love her.
You stand up for yourself a bit though and tell her that you're man and show her a bit as well by standing up for yourself.
But you tell her you'll love her.
Her point of view, hmmm.... I did these things, beat him up a bit, disrespected him, kicked him out of the bedroom, made him feel like a 5th wheel, hurt him, treated him poorly and acted like a bitch and he still pursues me and tells me he loves me. My husband starts to show that he doesn't care, maybe starts speaking with other women, I call him on it, re-assert my authority, throw the lasso around his neck, reel him in, show him who's in charge, he doesn't fight back, doesn't argue, even agrees what he's doing is wrong without calling me on my $hit and then tells me he'll love me. I think I'm still in control here, we'll see what else I can get away with because reality looks pretty different when I'm in my WAW fog....
Here's a test for her from you tridoc, ask her for her cell phone today, "can I see your cellphone today, can you unlock it for me if it's locked so that I can go through your contacts and text msg's and question you on the info I find? I figured I did this for you the other day, you should be able to do this for me."
.... and guage her reaction ;-)
It's fair isn't it?
If she gets all pissy, you'll know I'm on the right track and you'll know where you stand.
