First Timer

[wolverine1997]

Talked to wife last night, here is what happened. I told wife that I overheard her talking about going on a trip. She snidely stated that she was talking near me on purpose and knew that I was listening. She then said that at some point, maybe around March, she was going out of town to visit some girlfriends from school. I told her that I was disappointed in that she could save and plan for a vacation but would not help with the household expenses. She became even more indignant and asked what bills needed to be paid. I listed most of the expenses and then told her that we could pick out a few bills for her to pay every month or she could give me the money (which is what I prefer)and I will pay them. She angrily stated that she would pay herself and that she already pays the car insurance bill. I corrected her and told her that she has paid one month of the car insurance and need to make that payment every month. Also,their are many other household expenses that she needs to help with. We agreed that I would give her a list so that we can decide what she will pay. I will provide that list today.

Right from the start of the conversation she was bitter and irritated. I tried not to fall into that argument trap and did a pretty good job even though I did ask her if had a problem. After that I did not respond to her bitter sarcastic remarks. I am getting better at ignoring and letting things go, not responding to every challenge.

Also, I learned something interesting. She stated that she knows that I try to listen to her conversations (which is sometimes true but not nearly as often as she thinks) and that she talks loud enough for me to hear on purpose. I must give her the impression that I am concerned with her actions. I don't want to give that impression. This shows me that I must continue to work on detaching myself even more.