How do you release the anger?

[ddstartingover]

My H once told me (in the beginning of this - when he chose to offer something) that we had a C average marriage and he was tired of working at it when he didn't think we could ever do better than a C. I know that's a cop out, but it's one of those things on my mind today as to why.....how do I understand.

He has offered me kindness on some occasions, occasionally I think he still cares for me---but he very obviously wants to only treat me like an acquaintance, or business associate that he must deal with because we share 3 kids. He has only discussed ending our marriage via e-mail. When he does e-mail he says he is DONE, and "he just does not want to work on our marriage." Why can I not accept this??? Most of the time his behaviour is just bizarre and just not him. I am doing my best to let him go, and it is easy when I see how he acts now---because this is not who I would want to be with-----but I still remember who he was. I still remember what we had, and boy do I know it wasn't perfect----C average may be accurate. But with a C average, you have some A and B times mixed in with some D's (maybe a rare F). My memories are of the A/B times. It is my memories that keep me from making sense of this. It is my memories that make this seem so wrong.

I like the quote about accepting, but not understanding. I am getting closer to accepting, but it is so unfair that I don't get to understand why this has happened.