Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

NEED ADVICE PLEASE - I am calm, surprisingly calm. I snooped a bit this morning on the item that still has my curiousity, the pay as you go phone. In a different spot in backpack but still in there. I had more time to snoop around. Interesting. Hasn't been used that much, even back before exposure. But it was used on Friday to call OM, for 18 minutes, at 6:40 PM. That was it. I was actually surprised. Only use since Nov. Unless others have been erased, didn't have time to see if the phone has that capability. Battery still almost dead on it.

Next interesting bit - so I look back to Friday expecting to see me posting about her good mood. Not at all. That was the night I called her out on being bitchy. That was the night she was so tense that she had to take a muscle relaxer that carried into the next morning. She wasn't exactly overly friendly on saturday either except when I took the kids to McDonalds.

So now what do I do. Not sure. Do I monitor, do I confront, do I wait till post funeral to confront. Do I keep my mouth shut and see what the phone will show after her 5 day trip. Do I make the phone disappear. Do I call that phone number a time or two while she is on her trip (now that I have the phone number). Do I send OM an e-mail letting him know how ballsy he is and remind him how much he has to lose. Do I contact OMs wife. Do I just let it going, knowing if she is going to contact him, I can't stop it, and just try DBing more and hope I become the better option. Do I ignore for now...I guess this isn't bothering me but a little because I was so sure it was going on, this only confirms it. I guess I'm almost surprised at how little it has gone on.
If I can get to the phone 1 more time, and get the serial # on it, I can set up an account on line and monitor it...unless she already has set up an on-line account. Hard to say but I doubt it because for quite a while I was able to and was monitoring her internet activity and there was nothing in terms of wathcing an account. That and there are a TON of minutes left on it. 700+ minutes.

I guess it has been more e-mail/internet chatting than anything.
I'm not going to react on this one, but W probably leaves tomorrow morning for funeral just as another data point. A part of me says now would be the wrong time to bring it up, this trip is for the family that has it much worse off than I do.

I'm really doing ok with this right, not fabulous, but ok. It might start eating at me later, not sure.
Got a little of that sinking feeling in my gut, but that is it. I am not distraught.