We didn't have any kind of relationship other than a couple letters before we got married - it felt right at the time, but I was overseas in a language course (not a marriage one!)
Ok, so you rushed in; you aren't the first. Only you can decide, then, if your wife and marriage have the qualities you are seeking for your life.
Quote:
If I was looking for a homemaker I would be set. But, we haven't been able to connect well on the intellectual level. I don't 'regret' the M, but she views the world (and always has) in a different way than I do. So for me, part of my struggle is whether I want to make a relationship that is deep with her, or start again.
No one is "just" a homemaker. She probably has a lot of interests and thoughts. Sure, they may not be intellectually stimulating to you, but they are important to her. I'm very "intellectual" myself, and often am surrounded by people very unlike me. It's nice when I can talk to someone of a like mind. But that doesn't necessarily make a happy marriage either. It sounds appealing, doesn't it, to meet someone who is on the same brain wave, is in the same intellectual bracket as ourselves. But just because the people in our lives don't share our passions doesn't invalidate theirs.
Quote:
I'm not looking for encouragement to go, but I guess I'm trying to hear something to "push me" over my anxiety of staying married when I have and continue to think that there is a personality divide between my her and I. I wish I could talk about our issues more to my W, but her self-esteem issues get in the way.
A personality divide...I've never heard it quite like that before. My H is a complete computer freak - hardware and software. He could hack my computer and I'd never know it. He knows things most of us (unless there are some other computer fiends on this board) would never even dream up. I know very, very little about computers.
I, on the other hand, am a fairly gifted writer. I am published and intend to take it a lot further. My husbands only talent with language is in Binary. We come from two totally different places! We are so different it is amazing to me sometimes.
The point is, you don't have to find someone who likes everything you do, thinks the way you do, etc. It's up to you to find common ground and enjoy your differences as complementary rather than adversarial.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
