I applaud you for being able to be friendly with your H. I just cannot see being friends with my W. That doesn'r mean I will be uncivil or rude to her. And I certainly will not say anything negative about her in front of the kids - that would only hurt the kids, and that is precisely what I want to prevent.
I will not be with W on holidays or her birthday or mine. No anniversary rememberance gifts or cards. She is making a choice that she no longer wants those things in her life. It is not seeking retribution against her. It is reality.
Hey, I don't fault you for that and I go back and forth. Mostly, I don't want to have to split the holidays and special occasions that involve the kids (it is I who will be losing more because they mean so much to me). Our birthdays are separate and our anniversary is moot.
