I meant pop, as we call it here...I will budget my drinks for special occasions...
John & Mike,
I am pondering the analogy. It led me to some questions I need to ask myself. I wonder though, in that depiction, if the police never shot the guy, would he have killed himself?
In my case, if I had never filed, never moved the ball forward, what do you think would have happened? Do you think Dan would have just never filed? We would live indefinitely in two separate households but not divorced? Just curious...I couldn't live like that and so I filed...
I tried to answer that question myself and thought he may have just avoided it until another woman in his life (ow or someone else down the line) pushed him to get a D so she could marry him.
Anyway John I need to delve deeper into that "getting past your past/breakup" book. I got a couple chapters in and then Dan left town and I got going on other projects along with having the kids 90% of the time. Tonight I will have to pick it up again...
Maybe Mike/John has it right, and maybe I am the one wanting to get shot, so to speak. If he had filed, if he had cut off all contact, pushed the Divorce through, told me he wanted nothing to do with me, I guess I tell myself that would hurt but also make me face it directly.
This passive, "I love you, I want to be with you but something is missing and I don't know how to get it back" BS is such a sh!tty way to handle things. Actions do speak louder than words and he is showing me that he is not 'in'...
I just think it is cruel or maybe just self-indulgent for him to be in/out, in/out so often the past couple years. Hell in September, 4 months ago, he was talking marriage retreats and making it work...even though his heart was not in it. I just don't understand why he would even start down that road time and again if he didn't honestly want that on some level...
OK this is not the road I need to be going down right now!!! Need to go play with my kids and change my focus...
