If you make it up here, I suggest summer, grilled fresh caught salmon and a few Alaska Ambers.
Pretty mcuh open invitation to any of my friends here.
And I'm sure you haven't, you'll notice a few months lapse between posts. I would like to correct one thing. Trust is earned, and then verify.
Right now B, you need some time under your belt and her belt. Let her muddle through her MLC and you grow a bit before you have to worry about trust, cause right now? Don't.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
talked to son last night and he talked about how they 'all' went to Target this weekend and OM got him lego.
low fn blow.... the guy went to target w my w and my two sons and his sons and got him a present...
wife called me coming back from that trip-- I specifically asked about OM (since she said his kids were in the car). she said she didn't know what he was doing. i believe he was there in the car... very hard to take.
killing me.
really not sure how long I can honestly stomach this...
Hey B... Finding these inconsistencies out is hard and it definitely hurts to feel lied to...but in order to do this(stand for you marriage, DB) you have got to NOT take it personally. And remember..it ISN"T personal.
Time helps. Detachment helps(but takes time!)
Don't let your imagination picture these scenarios because IMO the image is harder to get out of your head...so distract yourself, exercise, read, watch a movie, go out with friends, play cards with grandpa, read other LBS's posts(lots of good info here)..whatever you can do to get your mind elsewhere..it will really help!
Repeat daily..."its not about me" Your wife's actions are really, truly, not about you. There is no malice, no forethought..she is like a teenager in her head- remember what that was like...just action and emotion, no forethought, no thought of consequences..just whatever feels good..the world revolves around me....that's where your wife is... Its really not about you.
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
I totally understand how you must feel now. It really is a lot of heartache and can cause terrible panic attacks. I know the lack of sleep and appetite all too well.
It really is not about you. Your W is incredibly selfish and absorbed in her own happiness right now. I think that when another person comes along, it not only causes their common sense to get all fuzzy, but lowers their IQ for a while. Your W is having difficulty knowing right from wrong.
Did you specifically tell your W to not introduce the kids to OM?
I ask this because I had something very similar. I insisted that my W not involve the kids in her A and she promised me she would not. But I found out from my kids otherwise. They told me that their mother was kissing the OM right in front of them and that he even kissed my daughter. My daughter thought it was neat that mommy had a boyfriend. My line was crossed by her unwise choice of including the kids in the A. I filed for a D.
I am not suggesting that you file for a D, but you do need to have some boundaries as to what life lesson is being learned by your son's now. As it stands, I am not certain if there are any consequences for poor actions on your W's part.
