Exh: I don't know. Why? Me: I have things to possibly do and want to know what the plan is for your visitation. Exh: I will come by right now for a few minutes. Me: Ok.
I am dressed and ready to go to class. I wouldn't want to interfere with his time with baby, just want to know if he isn't showing at all.
Thanks for the backbone help !!!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
That was a quick visit! He stayed 15 minutes and said he had to go. I asked in the future if he could let me know if/when he was coming because I had stuff to do. He said ok..
He was surprisingly nice. After yesterdays blowup makes you wonder why?
Oh well!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
That was a quick visit! He stayed 15 minutes and said he had to go. I asked in the future if he could let me know if/when he was coming because I had stuff to do. He said ok..
He was surprisingly nice. After yesterdays blowup makes you wonder why?
No, it doesn't make you wonder why...you will NEVER know why he does what he does or says what he says. If I were a betting woman, I'd bet HE never knows either...
who cares why? When I was at a camp for kids with cancer a long time ago, there was a 10 y/o girl with terminal cancer. She told me she "used to wonder why God would make me sick. I would ask God, 'Why me? Why? Why, why?' and then I just thought, 'I just am...so now I want to try and have fun with my summer." She was 10 y/o and figured this out. Yes she died- but her life was NOT spent wondering why...She lived her short life - well.
Your X h is bad news. He just is. You are GAL and that's ALL that matters now. That's all that interests...he's boring to tell you the truth.
As for OW, #1, 2, 76, etc...it's cool you forgave them if it means you let go. OTherwise it seems a tad odd and masochistic, gossipy, comparing notes and all that. Possibly even competitive on someone eles' end....Continuing the "r" with them is fruitless. They could be wonderful people someday-- but you have enough friends or will...you don't need to risk the comparing of notes...& spreading of poop...and you DO have kids so why risk that?
I would be outraged that your h feels entitled to comment to them about "sh#$ talking" him...as if he's entitlted to some type of protection for his wonderful behavior and reputation? What an ego. He's in NO POSITION to expect others to cover for him anymore.
Keep up the GAL and spine growing...you're doing well! J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Glad I read that today 25! I was starting to feel a bit down this morning. Made me remember why I am doing what I am doing.
I did end up at my kickboxing class. I love it. OW was there too. For me to let go completely of my animosity towards her is necessary due to seeing her all over the place. It is just the way it is in our lovely little town. We didn't say much..just "Hi, how are you?"
Today we start our little music class again. Baby loves it so much. Tonight is another wrestling match. This is a busy week and weekend. Perfect timing and helps with my GAL!
Last edited by Startingover2; 01/12/1002:06 PM.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
A good friend of mine whose daughter is also friends with exh's d13 said she had d13 over the other day and d13 said that "her father (exh) and MGF aren't together right now because SO2 (me) called MGF and told her a bunch of lies about her father....just like I ruined his relationship with OW!" She said her dad(exh) was going to go after custody of baby.
My friend asked d13 how she knew this as it seemed like adult talk...d13 said her mother (exh first exw) told her!
How wrong that is! I didn't contact either OW nor MGF...they contacted me AFTER exh betrayed them. I answered their questions honestly because I didn't feel the need to protect exh!
No wonder exh is the way he is...he has his exw and everyone covering for him all the time!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
you cannot let ANY of this matter to you. He's NOT getting the baby. He can threaten all he wants, he can stomp his feet, he can say the sky is a green egg and that the sun is purple. It does not matter. (well sure, Maybe next time you think well of him, you can remember moments like these and remind yourself what a bad piece of news he is in your life) but to WORRY about him? No, this data isn't real.
So except for the clarifying part--i.e, seeing more clearly what a loser he is, forget this. Don't sweat it, and you might ask your friend not to repeat stuff like this to you unless they really think it helps you in some way. I assume she was trying to warn you so maybe there's value in that. Otherwise, shrug it off.
It is literally the ONLY way he can get a reaction out of you and he knows how to push your buttons and he loves doing that. He's a sick man S2...he really is. The idea that you are moving on and NOT reacting to him bugs him to no end. So don't react to this. Laugh it off. Seriously. What are his grounds for getting baby when he can't have unsupervised visits? Remember reality...because he doesn't.
Keep moving on and GAL and if you can possibly do it, move away. Start somewhere new even if it's only 15 min away. This just makes it weirder and harder for you to move on. You are on the right track. Stay on it and stay on message. Calmly. Otherwise you're letting the equivalent of a homeless drunk sputtering angrily at you, to get inside your skin. You would not do that -- so don't let your X h get under your skin. His "data" is as valuable to you as the homeless nut's words are to you.Meaning, it is NOT worth anything. Keep on keeping on...
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I think moving is a VERY good idea. There has to be a way to get out of that town. Can you imagine raising your new baby in this environment of gossip might be like?!
And now you know another thing - talking to these other women will somehow come back to bite you in the a$$ - just as any other gossip eventually will.
25 is right - keep strong, ignore your ex and his nightmare of a life - and be eternally grateful that you got away from it!
!!!