Is there any hope- EVER- after a divorce?

[Pheline]

I started this thread some time ago- and since then XH has gotten nasty, vindictive, continues to split the children, denies me access to my children and property.

Funny thing- I was *over* him a long time ago, then rekindled hope to spare my children from the nasty way the divorce was proceeding. XH lied repeatedly during the process- about the purpose of the CFI, about doing a Controlled Separation, about actually trying during counseling over the summer- he was lying until the weekend before the trial date.

and I believed him.

So, I'm out and I regret allowing myself to be vulnerable to hope because it has left me raw during a time when I should have been further along in this process. I wish I'd stuck to the path of ending this abusive marriage all along instead of opening myself up to possibility again.

do I feel like I gave it a last good shot? Oh yes, more than. But I'd given it a last good shot already, a year ago last August. I much preferred feeling distanced from him to letting myself be ripped open again- not to mention the damage it did to my children to see me try one more time (and now they believe I didn't...)

ah well. Moving on.