Time to put this thread back to a subject other than breasts....
Yesterday my D18 was going to be seeing my WAW and a friend of hers from out of province. When I was leaving for work yesterday I kissed D18 as usual and then said "and this one is for Nancy - and this one is for your mom".
Last night WAW texted me - "thanks for kiss via D18". We texted a few times back and forth and then I turned phone off. This morning, I replied to her last message that I missed and said I would call her later today to tell her about possible promotion for me here at work.
I'm not sure the "don't pursue" completely applies to you, especially since you've been through all this before. I'm finding things have been much better with my W when I stopped worrying, starting acting freakin' confident, tried some crazy things and watched the results. Those are the biggest DB principles IMO depending on the sitch. You went out on a limb, told her about the dream, and went for the boobs. It worked! According to her, this was all caused by that sexual incident. So it's encouraging that she was comfortable.
Now just let yourself feel good instead of second-guessing. And try some other out-of-character things and watch her reaction. Have fun with it.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Jon - I hope you are right that "don't pursue" may not completely apply to me. Puppy is probably going to kick my butt for this, but...
WAW and I are going out for dinner this coming Saturday night - at my request. I suppose it's a date of sorts, but I really just wanted some time to talk to her (not about anything serious) in a neutral location without interruptions or worrying about the kids overhearing things if talk does turn to more serious matters.
I figure we are going to be in each others lives regardless of the outcome and it was time for one of us to extend an olive branch and start the process of healing. And I do know (100% sure) that WAW would some day like to put our marriage back together, so this can't hurt. But at the same time, I am not expecting anything from it.
Jon - I hope you are right that "don't pursue" may not completely apply to me. Puppy is probably going to kick my butt for this, but...
WAW and I are going out for dinner this coming Saturday night - at my request. I suppose it's a date of sorts, but I really just wanted some time to talk to her (not about anything serious) in a neutral location without interruptions or worrying about the kids overhearing things if talk does turn to more serious matters.
I have no problem with this. It's good that YOU initiated it ("leading"), and so long as you can keep your "NO EXPECTATIONS" mantra in check, and "NO R TALKS" you'll be fine. It's better than the boob-grabbing, LOL.
I DO think you will get a little pursuit from HER, either during this date or immediately following, and I'd advise you ahead of time to play it cool.
Glad to hear you were the first to end the text exchanges last nite.
Had dinner with WAW last night as planned. Nothing romantic or anything. We actually went to a dive that has African food. Unique experience.
WAW looked great. Some R talk, but nothing too deep. She did cry a little a couple of times. She has some medical news that she was not willing to share last night - she didn't want to make it a sad night. Maybe she will share when she comes over with groceries and to make dinner today.
WAW had me pick her up at work. She does not feel comfortable with me picking her up at her apartment. Not even with having me just stop in front of the building. I dropped her off back at work (restaraunt/pub) after dinner. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and said bye.
Later she texted "thanks for dinner it was nice". I responded "you're wecome. it was nice to feel even a litle like us".
During dinner I admitted to missing her and missing cuddling. She said she does too.
Would it be a bad move to suggest a cuddle later today when she is here???
yes, it's a bad move, it's pursuing any way you look at it.
And I tell you if she is crying and she also doesn't feel comfortable having you drop her off in front of her apartment building, something is afoot - I've seen this too many time to think differently, call me cynical but she knows she is hurting the nice guy that BTM is and still having an affair behind his back.
No cuddling, if the WAW wants you, let her pursue you.
BTM, I agree with rob. I think that will happen naturally, and if it does, cool. Why ask for it?
Also, I want to hear more about you. What are you doing for fun that has nothing to do with W?
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Also, I want to hear more about you. What are you doing for fun that has nothing to do with W?
I am a definite home body, so have not really done the GAL thing, since I already have one that I like. So..not really doing anything different for fun than I would normally, but that works for me.
My son didn't want to go grocery shopping with WAW yesterday and she was not feeling well, so she asked me to go with her. I did. No bigggie.
No cuddle yesterday, but we did hug a couple of times. Again - no biggie. She asked if I wanted to join she and the kids at a movie one night this week, but I said no, simply because it's not a movie I want to see.
Tonight, I am going back to the Divorce Support group that has been off since before Christmas. I enjoy the people there and the support. It will be good to get back to it.
