Don't know where to post this.

[Gnosis]

Boundaries are made for you. Boundaries are there for you to maintain your personal integrity.

With this in mind prepare yourself for delivering the following boundary to your wife:

While you continue your relationship with OM I feel cheap, used and taken for granted. I refuse to be treated like dirt and be your fall back plan after he has used you and kicks you to the curb when he is done. If you continue to disrespect me like this I will have no choice but to withhold my affections and feelings for you. The choice is yours to make. Before you make that choice I want you to know that I love you and I believe that we can make this work, but we cannot do this while there is a third party involved in our relationship.

And be prepared to ENFORCE the above when you deliver it. The above is off the top of my head.... and something for you to ponder.

As Rob pointed out to you before... this will be counter-intuitive and we will be triggering her pressure points (aka fears)