I do not think I should sacrifice everything I have worked for to move to a town that my wife left me to move to so that, presumably, she could be with another guy.
Definitely not, however where are your kids going to be? You should do everything in your power to be with them!!!
I see a life ahead of me now, where I didn't before. That is key.
so I called her and told her.
I might have taken that the wrong way. : )
Quote:
you're not special,
In DBing you're not special. : ) But I like your self esteem. Wish more had that sense of self.
The PI.
(My thoughts with nothing but what usually happens around here to back them up)
You hire the PI and a week or two later, you have pictures that prove without a doubt that this isn't just a emotional affair. Now you have beyond a doubt proof that she is lying to you and screwing him. And... where does that leave you?
Knowing that she is lying to you and sleeping with him, and KNOWING she is lying to you and screwing him is a world apart. It is a world apart. One is a pit in your stomach the other is having your stomach ripped out with a rusty billhook.
I am not saying bury your head in the sand, but the cost of a PI and hard proof that smacks you in the face...everytime you look at it, and you will dwell and look at it ALOT.
Do the least ammount of damage to your pyche needed to get you to do the things you need to do.
The job and move, that is your choice man. Living in the same town doesn't mean living in the same neighborhood. And makes the following crap harder to enforce:
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she gets angry, defensive, and says stuff like "well I was just about to say that I was going to bring the boys down next weekend when you are on call, but now I don't think so"
There will be no jobs dealing with cardiac in the town she now lives in? 9 years IS a long time to spend on a specialty and I do not want to guilt you on it, You do what you have to do.
But while you are reading that, put in Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin...
just a little guilt. ; )
Beyond that.
Sex no sex...
Some will say no, some will say yes. It is situational. If you do and a complaint of hers has been lackluster, make it so her eyes roll back in head.
...little boy blue and the man in the moon... Every time I hear that song, I re-evalute what is important to me, and what I believe is important to me.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
here will be no jobs dealing with cardiac in the town she now lives in? 9 years IS a long time to spend on a specialty and I do not want to guilt you on it, You do what you have to do.
But while you are reading that, put in Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin...
just a little guilt. ; )
Beyond that.
Sex no sex...
Some will say no, some will say yes. It is situational. If you do and a complaint of hers has been lackluster, make it so her eyes roll back in head.
...little boy blue and the man in the moon... Every time I hear that song, I re-evalute what is important to me, and what I believe is important to me.
You hire the PI and a week or two later, you have pictures that prove without a doubt that this isn't just a emotional affair. Now you have beyond a doubt proof that she is lying to you and screwing him. And... where does that leave you?
Knowing that she is lying to you and sleeping with him, and KNOWING she is lying to you and screwing him is a world apart. It is a world apart. One is a pit in your stomach the other is having your stomach ripped out with a rusty billhook.
I am not saying bury your head in the sand, but the cost of a PI and hard proof that smacks you in the face...everytime you look at it, and you will dwell and look at it ALOT.
Do the least ammount of damage to your pyche needed to get you to do the things you need to do.
my plan was to never look at the pictures... but for now I will follow your advice and cool it with the PI.
I'll jam my head in the sand for now and pretend its just an EA...i'm in a fairly good place I suppose
That is a lot of crap to read and I do not advise it.
Similarities more than likely end with the similar ages. You became a heart surgeon, I never had that drive.
And for the record, I was incredibly lucky on the ammount of time it took. Lucky.
Alot of my early stuff was all 'baby steps' and wide eyed and fluffy tailed nonsense about believing her when she said we would work on it, and she wouldn't see OM anymore.
All that stuff needed to happen, and everything I went through to be here and now...just...heh...when I go back and read it every so often...I see such a newb who wasn't hardened to this.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
