You wanted to know what I told B. It is the same that I have told all who asked. I will never deny any of my faults or wrong doings in the breakdown of our relationship. I will own 100% of my mistakes and will take the blame for probably 90% of the problems in our marriage.
I am working hard on me. It is a long slow process but I am committed to being a better man. I love you deeply and am deeply remorseful for the pain that I have caused.
If you can find it within you to give me a chance I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my failings.
The following is my side of the chat conversation.
Excuse me, but your W is no angel either. I would not have sent the parts in red You cannot claim that 90% of the marriage was all your fault. It's a 50/50 split.
The ILU is a no-no at this point in time. This is against DB principles and is seen as pursuit.
The request for another chance is also pursuit and is interpreted as begging. Begging your wife at this point lowers your value and her respect for you. Her RESPECT for you is KEY to your reconciliation. She reads this as, "Hold on... I cheated and he's begging me to come back? Whoa! How pathetic..." See? And I'm not calling you pathetic. I'm not here to judge you.
And finally... you did NOT owe her your side of the IM conversation. She would just have to take your word for it.
OK, 2x4's done.
Carry on reading SC's stuff. Remember... NOT ALL OF IT IS GOING TO BE APPLICABLE. From her thread you will get an insight into what could be your wife's state of mind.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
