Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Lost -
I can get on her laptop, but now she is much smarter than before I can't catch her unless I actually bought/loaded software that would trace keystrokes and programs in the background. Except when she slips up, which is getting rarer and rarer these days. She is careful because she realizes I am smarter with computers than her, but she is no dummy on them. I am surprised she left her Skype open so that I could see the balance and his contact info in there...there were only 4 contacts: me, my parents, OM, one mutual friend

I can develop a mental plan while she is away on what chores I will stop doing. Will wait till she leaves on her trip.

interesting comment on the it might get too boring. I got one text from her this weekend about something with the TV while I was out. I wrote back I thought you were working. her reply was it was too quiet in the house, needed some noise. She has in the past always said she needs to go the basement because its the only place she can get peace and quiet...so maybe there is something to that.

Also - she has told me more than once, before I was DBing mainly, that "I haven't left yet"...she would always tell me she isn't in a place where she can work on our M and of course the ILYBNILWY, but then she'd always say she hasn't completely quit, I haven't left yet. Maybe that is because he is thousands of miles away and married with 3 kids, but she is still here, still in the house, and still physically (not emotionally) in the bedroom.

Once the funeral is behind her, it'll be harder for me to take the girls on my own. We have always done almost everything together on the weekends and she feels so guilty these days about not spending quality time with the kids, that she might try to push for the opposite, where she takes the kids, but I will be surprised if she allows me to have a bunch of alone time with them...that and the jealousy over them that I've seen lately.

Yes snooping was how I found the phone, but not like she was trying to hide it real well. In her backpack, and frequently she will ask to get something out of her backpack. That's what I found so odd, prior to this, I don't even know where she kept that phone (when she was using it reguarly), she had it hidden well.

Maybe what needs to be on of my short term goals is learning to accept that the EA is probably still going on and learning to deal with that. I'm not there yet. I am still amazed that they would both risk so much. I won't go into the specifics, but the OM has a ton to lose if this were exposed and W a significant amount also. I'm talking on both a personal and professional level. OM must be one cocky/arrogant SOB that he thinks he is bullet proof on all this.