One day at a time....

[Hope4us]

Here is my perspective... but for some of us still feeling raw, we need to believe we are better than OP for a while to cope with the damage done to our self esteem. It helps (and so, yes CW that does help pump me up) to think of it that way, so you can remember that you weren't discarded for some "better" option. We focus for awhile on all we have to offer, and we look at the character flaws and defects in the OP that caused them to make the choices they did that caused unbelievable damage and destruction in our lives.

That being said... I do know I can't stay in that frame of mind forever.

I think you're on to something here Rocked.

I read once, a long time ago, when a betrayed H said the best words he ever heard his W say were "you're a better man than OM".

Oh how I would love to hear that......but at the same time, as more distance is put between us and that f'er, I KNOW I don't need to hear that as I KNOW I'm a better man than he is. He's a POS, pond scum sucking, serial cheatin low life and I KNOW I'm a better man than he.

Doesn't mean it still wouldn't be nice to hear my W tell me that I AM a better man, but as our marriage recovers, the necessity of me hearing it from her gets less and less.

You have a great attitude and understanding of these kinds of messes, while there's still a lot of pain and questions that will run through your mind, you're doing ok.

H4U.