There is no "should be". Whatever you had before wasn't working, for whatever reason.

Now that he's back, you have an opportunity to keep the best parts of your relationship while working on the worst parts.

Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."