GW, The reason I "continued" to say that... was that, prior to the PA being exposed, my H continued to tell me he realized the EA was wrong and inappropriate and hurting me, so he was "winding it down". He would ask me to let him do that on his own time frame. But, then something would happen that would make it obvious to me that this was not the case, we would have an argument, and I would say that to him. This was, for the most part, prior to be me learning to DB.
AFter learning to DB, I didn't say those things much, as I avoided R talks. But, when H would raise it, or when the need came to set a boundary, I would say something along those lines.
So, no, I don't think you should say that ocasionally, unless she brings the issue up or something significant happens that a boundary needs to be re-set (ie you discover proof of on-going communication).
No point hiding or destroying the phone. It is too easy to just get another one. Like I said, if they want to be in contact, they will be.
You are doing great! Keep it up, and take care of yourself!
