Had stupid drama from him of course on Sat. I'm really tired of it. It was all over the kids' exchange. He's letting all the planning go through them and not clearing it with me.
Why's he doing that ... to p*ss you off.
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It was my weekend and he made plans to take them to a ball game that evening. I put my foot down and said no since it was my weekend and he didn't clear it with me.
Well done. You set a boundary there (the contact) and you enforced it.
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He says I emotionally manipulated them into not going and missing a nice game with their cousin and it was planned months ago.
Sorry for saying this but you H REALLY get's on my nerves. Who gives a f*ck what he says. He's trying to emotionally blackmail you. D's mum did this to me ALL THE TIME.
If it was planned months ago ... err ... why didn't he tell you MONTHS AGO?
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Well, again the man is using money as a weapon.
Of course he is. That's all he can use. However, I have to say, you are letting him.
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He had promised to pay for D's horse show fees and training for the weekend of competition and now since plans changed, he's changing plans on paying for it and is sticking me with the bill. He said I'm using his money anyway.
Ahh. Have to disagree. You are using YOUR (as in both of you) money. He's a married man with responsibilities. If he didn't want that maybe he should have thought about it before he either had an A or had kids.
This is where you let him win.
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He's so obsessed with using money as a weapon! He also said that I should be acknowledging his emails and then he'd "bother" to coordinate with me. He's such a childish and selfish man. Okay, I'm approaching DISGUST.
He is using two weapons here - the kids and finances.
1. You need to get this financial agreement sorted ASAP. In the mean time live within your means. If he has agreed to pay for ANYTHING (and that includes, tickets, kitchen bits, horse shows) cancel it now. If you don't, you give him a lever. If he, or the kids ask why you are doing it tell them you simply cannot afford it. End of story.
2. You need to speak to the L about scheduled access to the kids. I know you talked about it being 50/50 and you can't stop him seeing them yada yada yada - yeah you can't and shouldn't but it needs to be coordinated with YOU as you have day to day care of the kids (50/50 doesn't mean he can do what he likes BTW) and you both need to come up with a schedule. It's sh*t you have to go down this road but this has the benefit that both of you know when access is so no more arguing about it.
You need to take away his control of you - the finances and the kids. Until you do that you are going to continue this dance from now until the end of time.
What is happening on the L front?
Last edited by P17; 01/11/1006:43 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
