Here is my perspective... Deep (always nice to hear from you!) I think that you may be past this point in your own sitch, but for some of us still feeling raw, we need to believe we are better than OP for a while to cope with the damage done to our self esteem. It helps (and so, yes CW that does help pump me up) to think of it that way, so you can remember that you weren't discarded for some "better" option. We focus for awhile on all we have to offer, and we look at the character flaws and defects in the OP that caused them to make the choices they did that caused unbelievable damage and destruction in our lives.
That being said... I do know I can't stay in that frame of mind forever. I do know that we are all capable of behavior and choices we would have never imagined if certain circumstances were in our lives. Sure, I would like to think I would never be unfaithful in any way, and I never have been. But, I am human. We all are.
Someone on my thread (I think it was Pearl) recently talked about the distinction between a person who makes bad choices (which is how I am choosing to view my H right now because I have known him to be a good man for over twenty years) and a "bad person", or someone who repeatedly makes "bad choices" that wound other people, doesn't seem to change their behavior and continues to wound other people. From what I have learned about OW, this does seem to be the case about her. Because of that, I know I am a woman of honor and integrity, and her life does not reflect that. Does that make me a better person over all? That is debatable I guess. But, do I need to hang on to that right now to let my self esteem recover and to help my healing process. Yes, I do.
I pray I will not feel the hate, bitterness, and anger towards her forever. I know that only does damage to me in the long run. But, for now, I am not anywhere near ready to forgive, pray for her, or anything of the sort.
I did write the letter and ripped it up. It felt good. But, I think I am not done. I think there will be more letters to come.
