Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Just needed to vent. W emailed me this morning that she wants to go to counseling to answer my questions and to tell me where she is coming from. She also said she knows I don't want to move forward with the separation but she does. She says she is more comfortable discussing this in counseling. Big shock there as she can'd do anything lately without a support blanket. Then she talks about dividing our things again. She emails me a couple hours later and tells me she took some bills out of her name today. Nice woman. Can't believe I devoted my life to this woman for 19 years.

I have so many emotions right now...anger, frustration, sadness, despair, etc. I have received advice from people that tell me not to go to couseling if it's just for my W to bring closure. They tell me to tell my W that I don't agree with the separation and that I want to work on our marriage. I understand the she does not share my same feelings at this time but I will continue to work to save our marriage.

I don't know what to do here. In some ways I want to ask her my questions and hear what she says. On the other hand I want to save my marraige and I don't think it's a good idea to go to counseling for her closure. Like I said, it's very difficult to imagine my W reconciling down the road as she seems so confident, calm and emotionless right now. I'm also not sure if agreeing to dividing up our things now is what I should do. I think that maybe if we get past this hurdle then she might relax and feel that I'm not trying to evade her which might cause resentment towards me and hurt chances of reconciliation? I'm sure my W is thinking I will resist. Should I do the opposite and agree to talking about dividing our things? Just can't understand how determined she is right now. I know there's a long way to go before a D but man does it feel like an impossibility right now to turn this around.

Help! I could use some advice today. Sandi are you our there today? I would also be interested in hearing from some of the other veterans like Puppy, Gnosis, TrentC, Coach, Greek and others...sorry if I'm forgetting anyone. You've all given some great advice to others on this board.