LIMBO NO MO!

[Gnosis]

I spoke to W and told her that she and I had been on our last trip together. I told her we would not be going on S's birthday trip and that this was a consequence of her filing for D, which was her decision to break up the family. I told her filing for D and going on "family" vacations were mutually exclusive items. You can't do both.

Good. You had to burst her little bubble sometime or another.

Of course, she got angry (as I expected she would) and I was the bad guy.

Of course... what else is new in WASland.

I was being unreasonable/selfish for not laying aside my interests and thinking of the childrens' best interests

Yep, BBB (blah, blah, blah)... good thing you expected it.

(b/c, of course, people stay friends all the time even after D),

I can't remember, but have you shared this line with her before? "For the sake of our children I will maintain a cordial, civil relationship with you from this point forward. Any friendship we had is now over. I am no longer be your friend or confidant. The sooner you register this into your head the better."

that her filing the D action was merely a reaction to our "relationship."

She is living in delusion, isn't she?

I explained that the decision not to go had nothing to do with not keeping the childrens' interests at heart. I said people who are D'ing do not vacation together.

GIMA, maybe it's time you stopped 'explaining' to her and start 'deciding.' From this point forward you don't owe her any more explanations and don't need to excuse yourself either.

I also asked her if she really thought I would (a) go on vacation with her and (b) stay at her parents. All she said in response was that her parents had been "gracious" enough to offer to let us stay at their place. Huh?

Trying to reason is a futile exercise. The only reason that is understood is "the carrot and the stick."

That, however, does not make them right or defensible.

Agreed. You know this, we know this... unfortunately the other halves of people on this site don't.

We do the best we can.