Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

Had a bad morning, my fault though. I did not get the paperwork together over the weekend that the L needs. I met with L today. I started grabbing old tax returns to copy today and I just started sobbing. I don't know why, I am not missing my W, it is more of the whole sitch with having to gather all this stuff from our past. I think that is it, it is OUR past, I am faced with my future but she will still be a part of it and that is hard. I was tempted to call her but stayed strong and did not. Halfway to work my IC called to confirm joint MC session on Wed with ME, MY W, HER IC, and MY IC. it will be a party, yeah!

I told my IC I was having doubts about MC session, it was more of my idea but my W agreed pretty quickly and she set it up. I billed it as a boundry setting session after the FB/bar incident last Sat. My IC said I should keep the session, that way I can communicate how I feel when she is dating OM, going out, ETC. He said that her IC is trying to tell her how destructive her behavior is to the her and her family. She is still going to her IC, I think on a weekly basis, I must say that I am interested in how her IC is interacting with her. This is a Christian Counselor and supposedly still trying to save our marriage. Open to any suggestions.