I am starting to hear what you are saying-- even feeling it a little this morning.
its amazing. for 6 months I rolled over and believed all the manipulitive crap that she told me, and now (after a weekend with people who love me) I realize how much of it is just crap-- some of it is true though. Now I validate what is true but when she says crap I call BS
unbeliveable how she tries to maniuplate and dicate the conversations. now that I have a backbone I see how she does it-- uses fear tactics. "so we aren't going to talk at all...that is what you are saying?" previously I'd allow that tactic to work-- but not anymore. and I said, "no, not at all" but I was ok with not talking to her-- because I know now that I cannot let her problems and her whole deal consume me. I have to let it go.
She said, "how do I go about my day?" I called her back to say I thought she should put her phone away. om essentially kept her constant companionship throughout the day by the umbilical cord of the iphone. I told her I thought this was not helpful for her personal quest to learn to be within herself. I told her to turn off the phone and put it away... this was accepted, but then she started turning stuff around, trying to make things ugly-- when i said, why don't we go old school and you can page me. YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY PAGES. this time I did not validate, told her that is unfair, untrue... and all that. so I've got a spine again.
what I realized this morning is that I am married to someone who is actually mentally ill. that is tough to take. but it does allow me to become compassionate.
I'm trying to figure out how old she is... I'm guessing 13?
