Help w MLC / WAW... Jack 3 Beans?

[cat04]

B,

Don’t do it just because I or anyone else said so. Do it because it is what will help you through this. You will realize that in time.

Learn to recognize the script because you are hearing it.

Detatchment, although different for everyone, to me means that you are unaffected by the things they do. When you see or hear something, you don’t have that panic attack, you don’t get super angry and can’t get rid of it, you might have an emotional reaction, but it passes. Pretty quickly.

When my H finally admitted to his GF, to wanting to date her (he had been for almost 3 years mind you), yes I got angry. For about 20 minutes. It was the lying that made me angry. But then, when he saw that it upset me, he asked me “how can I do this? How can I date her now?” Because he was conflicted. He wanted my blessing. Well, even now, I can’t say that I am happy about it, and I was not going to tell him HOW to do it. That is something he has to figure out. But I did tell him, if it is what you want, then do it. You figure it out.

I have a question about the snooping. Ok now you know. Are you, at this point, going to continue to snoop? Are you going to continue to hurt yourself with the evidence or do you have enough? That is the reason, one of them anyway, that we say don’t snoop. Because you just end up hurting yourself. And it does not help to get rid of the anger.

This is just a process. None of us want to believe it can really take years. We all come here thinking we will be the exception to the rule. For some of us, it is a shorter road, but I have not seen too many MLCs that end quickly. Just go look at people’s registration dates. Read their stories. This takes a long time. In the end, no matter which way your sitch resolves, if you take the time for you, you won’t regret it.

Here is a thought, since you are a Dr. You understand the body. How much of your studies were about understanding psychology? Psychological disorders? I am sure you actually have more resources readily available to you than some of us. Try to understand depression, repressed anger, ptsd. All of that knowledge can be applied here and will help you understand MLC.

I know that right now you are hurting. You had a panic attack, guess what that was…

A physiological reaction to a psychological situation.

Read, learn, understand. The mind and the body do NOT work independently of each other. This could actually make you a better Dr in the end.