To answer your question, yes H found the board. I know it must have hurt him to read some of the things that were said. Many of the things that I said he has heard over and over again. The truth of the matter is this, my H is a human just like all of us. We make mistakes and deal with demons in our lives. I am not going to abandon him just because he has faults and is dealing with things in his life. I choose to walk by his side until the end…whenever that may be. I choose not to fault him or complain anymore but instead give all of my heart to this person because it is the best I can do. It is not going to solve anything coming on here complaining about my husband but instead to finding ways to resolve the things that have failed over the years. Instead of being co-dependant, I have chosen to be proactive in ensuring that the bills are organized, the house is clean and the kids are well taken care of. If he at any point needs me or wants to talk to me about anything I will open myself up to him and give him my full attention. I will no longer listen to anything negative, negativity will not solve anything. I will only focus on the positive. I have made a list of 10 things I would like to change about myself. I am going to work on that. I cannot go back and time and make the things that happen go away I can only work on forgiveness for myself and hope that in time he can forgive me. My husband does not trust me or feel that I am someone he can talk to and that is ok, that is how he feels and my job is to show him with my actions that I can be trusted with the money and when I say I am going to do something..do it. I am not manipulative, I am a good, honest person who on many occasions was just trying to protect my husband. I just want him to be happy and if that is my fault than I am sorry. My H thinks that my whole family knows what is going on but the truth is I would not want him to look bad in front of anyone. My parents have talked to me about it and encourage me to fight for what I believe in. My parents will be there to support him as well, contray to what he thinks they love him and they care about him as a person and would not judge him because of the things we are going through. It is part of life. So that is enough of that. I have chosen to be the rock of our family!
To those of you battling the OW/OM..I have decided to look at it this way…What a sad, lonely person with a low self esteem to want to break up a family. How heartless and selfish. They know your spouse is off limits yet they would lie, deceive and stoop so low as to contact a married man/woman. Is this really someone you would even want to compare yourself to? Because I look like St. Swimming compared to this person. How could your spouse even put their trust in a person that would betray in my case a friendship and think that this person is a good honest individual or even believe the lies they may be telling them??. Do not let them rob you of your self esteem, do not compare yourself to this person because when it comes down to it you are better than this person in every way. I often wondered how my friend could look at me and know that I have children and know the pain and hurt she was causing us. Revenge? Does that make it better, will that make the OP feel so much better as to destroy lives and a family? If they have children of their own how would they feel if someone was causing their children that much pain. How can your spouse trust the words that are coming out of this persons mouth when they know this OP must hate you deep down inside. Is the OW/OM not manipulative? Because it seems like manipulation in its purest form. How can your spouse confide or trust in a person that is so dishonest to begin with? These are questions that I battled for so long..until I realized that I was the better person. The secretiveness and dishonesty was enough for me to look at OW and laugh..laugh because how very sad for her.When thoughts come into your head about OP or if you have contact with OP just look at that person as a sad and lonely person and it makes the pain go away. I could never cause pain to anyone like that. I have enough pride in myself to hold my head up and say I have a good heart and soul and I can be trusted. I have also decided that it is best to forgive because I do realize what a sad and lonely person to destroy lives for their own satisfaction. And that is what I have decided to do. Hold my head high, smile and let the op go once and for all. Regardless of my H words I have decided to put my faith in him, hold on tight and enjoy the ride. It is all I can do. I am beginning to have confidence in myself and it is the most freeing and wonderful feeling…it is helping me to love unconditionally and in the long run I think it is the best gift I can give my H whether he chooses to walk by my side or not.
