Originally Posted By: TooLateForMe
Would it be too manipulative to make this a condition of the D?

Yes, it would be manipulative.

Originally Posted By: TooLateForMe
refuses to meet face to face to talk about it.

If you did rape her, that is a traumatic experience best handled by a trained professional. Your trying to get her to talk about anything is pursuit. Pursuing is a DB no-no.