WAW in affair. Help!

[Deep]

Norm, absolutely you should rock their cozy little world.

CG, I guess it depends on specific circumstances. If an M has abuse and variations of extreme intolerable behaviour, and one spouse checks out after a period of time, the other R might have a better chance of "working out". But in many cases, A's thrive on illicit excitement, thrill of the forbidden, and in being something hidden. I mean, I'm no expert, but after having my eyes opened with my sitch and really taking a good look around, that seems to be the case. Often, the "good" stuff in the A are illusory, delusions. It works because it exists in an unnatural setting, where there's no responsibility, commitment, and the grind of daily family life. Both parties only deal with the faces they choose to show each other.

When it all comes home to roost, they find that it's not such a bed of roses afterall, and the issues within themselves that led to their unhappines if not dealt with, remains. If we believe that we have a responsibility to make ourselves happy, then the ditching of an M for another party is simply being lazy at best.

Surely, that's why it's an A to start with right? They could have walked out on the M if the sitch was that bad. Holding onto the benefits of the M, cake-eating, whatever you call it, is just plain selfish, irresponsible behaviour. How would playing with someone else's weewee solve the problems in a dysfunctional M, or get you out of it?