Was your W aware of your occupation and all it involved when she married you? If so I am confused as to why you being deployed would "hurt her"? I can see her being scared for you, missing you and feeling overwhelmed (although I know there are extensive resources and networks for the deployed soldiers spouse to use and participate in so there really is no excuse) but hurt because you were doing a job that she was fully aware that you had and all that it entailed?
I just found that to be such an odd comment. It is almost like you are looking for a reason for her behavior. You should accept responsibility for YOUR role in the breakdown of the marriage but thinking for a second she is reacting from being "hurt" because you "left her" for your job in the MILITARY seems like quite a stretch!
