WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Just catching up on some journaling....

This week was a surprise as not only did she give up the first of her two nites this week (Weds), she gave up the second nite as well (Thurs). Guess having the kids 5 days straight (previous Weds nite till Mon AM, even though I had them Thurs during the day as well) was too much.... or whatever.

I didn't care as I was glad to have extra time with my boys. So I will have them from Mon AM till next Weds evening (9 nites in a row!). She started getting hit/miss with calling the boys again - guess she must have met someone or whatever.... I know it bugs my 7 year old the most as he had asked her to try and call to say goodnite.

I took the boys out with me for dinner with my a couple of my buddies I haven't seen for quite some time. They had a blast and my buddies both thought my boys were very cool! We were out late (didn't get home till 10:30 but it was really a good time). My 7 year old, when he went to bed, made a comment about how she didn't call to say goodnite. I asked if he wanted to try and call her but he said no (he usually doesn't want to as she typically doesn't answer and it really hurts for him to get her voice mail).

On Sat, it was the 1 year anniversary of her filing for Divorce. It would have been a really tough day if I hadn't kept myself busy. The boys and I made egg/cheese/hotdog omlets for brunch before heading out to NYC for my cousin's son's b'day party (turning 5). Even though it was just his family and my two boys, it was a blast. The kids played together (with just a couple of meltdowns - the price of skipping a nap) and had a blast beating up a Diego pinata! It was all good.

I did talk with my cousin just for a bit about how it was the one year anniversary of the day she filed. I was trying not to really talk/think about it but he is like a brother to me and really supportive so we chatted for a bit before getting focused on the fun. He told me to don't think of it as a negative, but find the positives in what has transpired because of all the crap. It's hard but I know he is right......

I didn't ask for this but I am at where I'm at.... I can't focus on the negatives and the past as that's not what's healthy for me or my boys.... I need to look at the positives and forward... that's the only way to thrive.....

On the way back home, my 7 year old made a comment about again about how she didn't call. I asked him again if he wanted to call, but he said no again. It was late by the time we got home, so I put my 3 year old right to bed. I told my 7 year old he and I could stay up and spend some one on one time together to watch one of his shows. We did and I think he really appreciated it as it's so rare that we get to do that since his brother was born.

Today, we spent most of the day relaxing and the kids played. When my 3 year old took his nap, my 7 year old and I put the comics that he got (these were mine from my childhood that I had given to my cousin and then he gave them to my son on Sat) in order so he could read them in sequence. It was a lot of work, but my 7 year old told me tonite when I put him in bed that it was the best part of the day.

He said watching football together would have been the best part if GB had won. I just laughed and said that it was a good game even though GB lost.

She did call tonite, but when he answered, he just said that we were in the middle of watching a football game so goodnite. My 3 year old said the same to her. Sorta crazy, they hadn't seen or heard from her since Thurs and they didn't even want to talk with her..... Oh well, that's her loss.....

So next week, I'm continuing to work on finding a job and spending time with my boys. She is suppose to have them Weds nite through Sun nite. I'm gonna ask to see if I can get them back early on Sat and/or Sun so we can watch football together again... plus my 7 year old wanted to go to the library together again... so we shall see

Life continues FIDO