Totally Random Observation

[Puppy Dog Tails]

. . . but I have never yet seen someone who uses the word "cuddle" in their posts, successfully DB their wayward spouse.

Just sayin'.

Puppy

[CityGirl]

I really wonder that too and have for a while. During the height of my situation I was always pleasant and civil to my H but inside all I wanted to do was kick him in the face (wearing 5 inch heels, lol!). The idea of coddling or cuddling him while he was exhibiting such poor, disrespectful and dishonest behavior made me feel physically ill. After hours of listening to him bash and blame me and lie about EVERYTHING he would ask me for a hug, you know 'cause he was just being honest, lol, then get angry when I would wink at him, tell him take care and walk away.

I took the bus three hours EACH WAY to my dr's, diagnostic/lab testing and treatments so I would not have to ask him for a thing. Six hours a day on a bus while very, very ill to get treatment was far more favorable to me then asking him for a DARN THING.

Why would anybody want to cuddle and love on somebody that has treated them so poorly? I don't get it??

[kara]

Hmmm. CG,perhaps they haven't reached the point yet where they respect themselves more than they feel that they need the R.

[OnceBurdened]

Pup is right again.

Early on in my sitch, I'd take the opportunity to "cuddle" @ night. I guess somehow I thought it would fix it. It didn't - made it worse - she started shunning me like, like -well it wass bad.

Tough Love is what turned my WAS around a bit so far. I did better internally and she responded more when I was distant but not disrespectful.

But that only comes after you make the determination to love & respect yourself. Then next you come to the realization that if she didn't want to join in - than someone else will.

F the cuddling for now that's for HAPPILY Married folks and/or lovers.

I do hope it comes later - it does lead to some real good stuff!!

[SpinFree]

"Cuddling" smacks of "settling" to me. It is a fine thing within a healthy marital (read sexual) relationship. When it is used as sex-lite in a sex-starved marriage. It seems to cement the power-politics of the relationship.

SpinFree

[DDogs]

"Cuddling" smacks of "settling" to me. It is a fine thing within a healthy marital (read sexual) relationship. When it is used as sex-lite in a sex-starved marriage. It seems to cement the power-politics of the relationship.

SpinFree

Bullseye!

[Gardener]

"Cuddling" smacks of "settling" to me. It is a fine thing within a healthy marital (read sexual) relationship. When it is used as sex-lite in a sex-starved marriage. It seems to cement the power-politics of the relationship.

SpinFree

Bullseye!

DITTO!
Very good.

[robx]

...but, but... I like to cuddle

LOL!

For a totally random observation,
you have a totally agreed upon consensus on this issue ;-)

[Norm914]

...but, but... I like to cuddle

LOL!

For a totally random observation,
you have a totally agreed upon consensus on this issue ;-)

LOL!! So true!!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

...but, but... I like to cuddle

LOL!

Notice the wording of my post. I didn't say "people who like to cuddle." I said "people who use the word 'cuddle' in their posts."

(and I would add, even worse, men who use the word with their wife)

There's a difference. A confident "C'mere, you," followed by an initiated non-sexual touching, is way different then "Honey, can we please cuddle??"

Puppy